My blog has been laying abandoned for a couple of months. But it welcomed me with grace, though it has some cute green moss here and there, and it was happy to see me, almost as much as I was happy to be back. Many roads have been walked since my last post but the thing that brought me back here is the last post itself, which has been kept as a private post until today. It was a post that had just too much of me, and I was once more afraid of the consequences of putting it out there.
Today, I decided to make it public, firstly because that I want to be more transparent, more vulnerable and be able to walk through my fears. There has been no permanent resolution (will there ever be?), but just a quick recap about what happened next. I sent that text to my friend in a way confronting her about my not-so-beautiful feelings, and confrontation brought clarity, transparency, sincerity and love… So much love! We discovered an even deeper connection, through what seemed to be a bundle of “horrible feelings”. So, for anyone going through this and as a note to future self, it is a lot easier to deal with once “it” is out there. Whatever the issue may be, even when I don’t know how to put it out there, being open, sincere and vulnerable made my life so much easier.
I have yet so much to discover, learn, dig and understand, though as of now I’m in a state of “being in peace with whatever comes my way”. This may be a short term state, or it may be cause I am tired. But I feel a deep calmness in there, even though there are still fears, uncertainties, trust issues and more, I feel like it’s all gonna be ok.
And as quoted in The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel “Everything will be all right in the end… if it’s not all right then it’s not yet the end”